Having the support of the people is crucial. Those around you who are experiencing grief, like friends, family members, and neighbors are feeling alone and distraught. There are ways that you can offer your help without it being harmful to you. Many healthcare professionals offer advice on giving and receiving support. Here are some of the things that you can do to help and how to do them to get the best results:
Be willing to offer help.
People around you experiencing grief may not be open to getting help. In many cases, they do not want to even ask for help, but it is the grief pushing them towards isolation. Assure them that getting help does not mean that they are weak. Let them know that you will give them the type of support that they need without wanting anything in return. Let them know that you will be there for them in the capacity that they need. Be willing to listen and take the time it may require to support this person in your life.
Be open and honest about the situation.
If you have experienced grief don’t be ashamed or hold back when speaking to someone going through it. Let them know how it was for you and that they are not alone. This will be comforting to them, but don’t forget to focus on the positive side of things. Tell them what you did to get out of it. Let them know how bad you felt, and how you pulled yourself back into reality and rationality, and finally dealt with your grief.
However, do not make the conversation all about you and your loss, and do not claim that you know how they feel. Everyone’s experience is unique and personal. Let them know that you are there for the, and that you’re experiences may help, but that you are mainly there to listen to them, and their experience now.
Don’t expect anything.
Do not build up any expectations. What you do or say may not always work the way you intended it to. You might be misinterpreted. What you need to remember is that your friend is hurting and not operating with a clear mind. Grief brings along a lot of emotions, so don’t take things personally and don’t expect to change the person overnight. In fact, don’t expect anything, just try to “be there”.
Use questions instead of making statements.
Saying things like "Do you feel like talking about this right now," instead of “Let’s talk now” can make a world of difference. Try to be subtle with your approach and let them open up to you.
Encourage them to resume normal activities.
If you can, spend time with them and go places and keep them busy. Sitting in their home, as opposed to sitting on a park bench, can really change things. Encourage them to change their environment by getting busy.
