Our emotional well-being is critical to a healthy life, but in times of grief we may experience depression. Grief is a multi-faceted response to loss, affecting us emotionally, physically, cognitively, behaviorally, socially and spiritually. The sorrow may a state of depression, not to be confused with clinical depression, is a state of intense sadness that has advanced to the point of being disruptive to one’s daily living. A person suffering from depression may feel tired, sad, irritable, unmotivated, and lack energy.
Healing, like grief, is unique to each of us and can be treated in a variety of ways, but we must experience the sadness as a part of who we are in order to heal. Allow tears. They are a form of emotional expression and a reflection of our souls. We may cry at times that seem inappropriate, or in the quietness of the night. There may be fear and shame in living with these feelings, but it is a normal emotional expression of our loss.
Depression is overwhelming. Day-to-day tasks may seem unimportant, but it is most critical to attend to daily living. Prepare a list of realistic tasks and goals to complete each day. Even if the items seem trivial (take a shower, eat breakfast, call a friend, do laundry...), the process of planning and maintaining a daily routine will aid in healing.
Often, depression will leave you feeling utterly lifeless. Allow yourself to indulge in activities that you enjoy. This will bring a time of happiness in such sorrow. It may be attending a religious service or a movie, reading a book, walking through the park, or exercising. Force yourself to be a part of the activities you love. It may allow you to surround yourself with others.
During times of depression do not make major decisions. Often sadness will muddle our judgment. Delay when possible, but if a decision must be made, share it with a loved one or a responsible friend. They will offer the support and perspective needed to make a good decision.
People rarely 'snap' out of depression. Rather, they gradually begin to feel again, which can be painful at first, but does get better. Depression will come and go. Some days will be better than others, and it may not happen quickly.
In our darkest hours we may feel the need to be alone. I encourage you to reach out to others. It may be to clergy, friends, family members, or a support group that can be found online or in your community. As a member of Memory-Of, there is built-in community support in the form of creating a Memorial Site for your loved one. This is a powerful tool in healing. It allows us to celebrate the life of our loved one, through sharing our memories, pictures, video, and thoughts. It allows those who are grieving our loved one to visit their memorial site and offer each other condolences. Lighting a virtual candle provides a symbolic representation of our everlasting love for those who have died. Memory-Of naturally creates a support group to turn to, during times of depression, through the various forums. We have the opportunity to share in the healing of others, as well as heal ourselves.
Speaking with a professional therapist accelerates the healing process during times of loss and depression. In coming weeks, you will have the opportunity to meet with me online through live chat sessions and online support groups. Through these sessions we will share your thoughts and feelings in a place that is safe and familiar. I will aid in the remembrance of your loved one and in your healing from the deepest pain you may have ever experienced.
